I was positive I was ready for that. But I actually wasn't. Well, I expected it. But I wasn't prepared. I knew it was coming. I was just hoping it was going to be after I saw him. Two more weeks, and I would've been by the kid's side.
I was alright when I found out. Then I was wreck. Then I was alright again, and then I broke down again. Eleven I'm-here-for-you's, three conversations about life, fourteen amazing hugs, two skipped classes, one on-the-house-coffee from Ryan, and a shitton of thinking later, I think I'm alright again. I think I'll stay alright for a while. He had one hell of a tough life, and he was in a lot of pain before he went. If anyone deserves to know what it feels like to be without suffering, it's him. I have complete faith in the fact that he's being taken care of now.
I think I'll still drive up to the Peg this summer. Just to see his friends and where he lived. I'm praying for them, too. I can't imagine how rough it must be for them. Those guys are like one huge [ridiculously insane] family. I've never seen guys take care of each other like that.
I already miss him a whole lot. He did way more for me than he realized. We're both different people because of each other, and I'm so glad he was clean when he went. He was going to be twenty in May, and I guess he didn't get too fair of a shot at life, but at least he never held back from anything. That kid had bigger balls than anyone I've ever met in my entire life.
2/23/2011 12:06:32 AM
email@example.com: But I wanted to say to you
firstname.lastname@example.org: That I love you so so so much
email@example.com: And thanks for making me do the things I didn't want to do
firstname.lastname@example.org: And all that mushy crap
4/19/2011 <3 Neil Driedger, I love you, I miss you, rest in peace.