Wednesday, April 13, 2011


So this morning I was in an exceptionally shitty mood. I was talking to this guy, and he said if I gave him a topic for discussion, he'd do his best to make me feel better. Turns out Google's good for fixing everything. Yeah, even failed attempts at a conversation. It's got a "conversation generator," and the first question (statement) to pop up was, "Describe your element." 

The other day I was sitting in someone's dorm room in my pajamas with my glasses, a book, my guitar, and a cup of coffee. I was entirely comfortable, entirely relaxed, and entirely in my element.  

I've been trying to pay close attention to what kinds of situations and people put me at ease, and what kinds of situations and people give me the overwhelming urge to tranquilize someone in the jugular. The more I think about it, the more the concept of "element" intrigues me. Some people are so shit-scared of doing the things that I do every single day, and other people are so comfortable doing the things that I'd never, ever try--mostly for fear of getting so nervous I throw up everywhere. What a classy paragraph. 

I asked roughly three hundred people the following question: 
When are you entirely in your element? As in, what kind of situation puts you in a mindset of absolute comfortability? When are you most productive, or most inspired?

Below are the funniest, most honest, most generic, most well-thought-out answers I got. 
  • "When I and everyone else are about 4 days into extreme exhaustion, like when I work a festival or a whole 2 week install. And I get my most deliriously hilarious, and no one else can stop me from making jokes about Rape Hitler."
  • "Pwning noobs."
  • "When I'm with [my boyfriend] in his room and I'm doing work while he plays games. And I eat his truffles and read."
  • "When I'm naked... Or do you want a serious answer? Joking aside, when I'm with other people, in good company."
  • "When I'm alone after someone said something really stupid. Then my mind works in a rational way and I can think of come-backs I should've said."
  • "When I'm well-rested and well-fed."
  • "I would say on my walks, especially by the lake or on a beach. Very at peace and things just seem clearer."
  • "When I'm with people who I can say anything to without being judged."
  • "I am not really sure. It just kind of happens every once in a while. Sometimes it's when I am high or on drugs, but more times it is just at some point this feeling comes over me and I just feel like I am in a thrill of ecstasy and I just produce something I feel really good about. Most times it is stimulated by music. Not anything in particular, just what I seem to be feeling the most at that moment."
  • "When I'm going 150 miles per hour."
  • "While I'm getting some."
  • "When I've got hard dance music on and I'm smoking a joint, honestly."
  • "While I'm at band practice."
  • "When I'm writing, especially if it's outside in the garden with some classic punk music playing. And it's sunny. Sunny, but not hot."
  • "Honestly, I'm kind of weird. Adrenalin makes me like, really calm. And focused. So situations that other people find stressful. Things that should get my heart going, but they just don't."
  • "Err... Guitar?"
  • "When I'm in my mother's basement, living off fish sticks and cream soda. My path is kind of gritty, you see."
  • "When I'm alone. And I mean alone alone. No one within a 2-mile radius." 
  • "At church. Not even lying."
  • "Why are you even asking? Fucking while stoned."
  • "While cycling. Or while having a bath. After cycling."
  • "In my element while watching Baywatch. The Hoff inspires me. And most productive while naked."
  • "Fire. Earth. Wind. Water. Captain Planet. The power is yours."
  • "On a stage, with good musicians, and a decent bass-rig, keyboard setup, or drum kit for me to jam with."
  • "When you're at the movie theater, because movies inspire everyone. And it's just you, focusing on the movie. It reflects something going on in your life, and it just causes an epiphany." 
  • "Marching band. Nuff said."
  • "When I'm not hearing anything. My brain works faster."
  • "When I feel liked, or appreciated, or admired."
  • "I'm entirely in my element when I'm in the shower. Because I'm just completely relaxed and I come up with my best ideas. Because I'm just clean and I can focus on nothing else but whatever I choose to. If that makes any sense."
  • "At the cottage by the lake, no worries, no work. Beers, good cooked food, a fire pit or BBQ... That's when I'm in my element and most comfortable. However, highly unproductive."
  • "When I drink shittons of energy drinks."
  • "What kind of gay-ass question is that?"
  • "When I'm in an airplane."
  • "In the water. Probably the sea."
  • "Acting. Pretending to be someone who's not me at all."
  • "At night. Maybe two AM. Doing music-producer stuff."
  • "When I'm in a small group of friends. Or when I'm drawing or just a little bit high."
  • "When I'm not doing anything."
  • "With my family."
  • "When I'm not Donnie. Definitely not productive. Inspired."
  • "When I'm taking an exam for a subject that I'm fucking boss at."
  • "When I'm shooting motherfuckers like it's cool."
  • "When I'm talking about a book with someone who's read it too."
  • "When I fap. Fapfapfapfap."
  • "I guess a situation of absolute comfortability would be when I'm laying down at night, right before I go to sleep. That's generally when I try to summarize the days events, interesting or not. As for when I'm most inspired, that really only comes with me being interested in a girl."
  • "When I have limited time to do something, and everyone's telling me I'm screwed. Then I get it done just to prove those bastards wrong."

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